Grab Boo to make it fly around and haunt my page!!
Sorry about the long depressive journal update. I just need to vent for a bit...
I've been going through some personal issues when it comes to my artwork lately.
I've come to a realization that has been difficult for me to accept. Art and drawing has shaped who i am as a person for as long as i can remember. It's who i am. But lately I've been having trouble with it. Not from a technical or motivational standpoint but from an existential one. I have sort of... lost my reason. It feels like as of late, my artwork has lost it's meaning. That I've been drawing only for the reason of having something to upload. I realized this and thought "Wait... i draw because it's fun... right?" That's what I've been telling myself for a long time, but it's not really how i feel. There are things i do know i enjoy when it comes to art. Sharing it with people, discussing it, getting inspired by other peoples work, the feeling of finishing something and to feel proud of what you have accomplished. However... the actual drawing process? ...not so much. I've given it a lot of thought and I finally think i know why i feel this way. Drawing isn't only my hobby, it's also what i do for a living. It's getting more and more difficult for me to separate drawing for work and drawing for fun. I guess it's nothing unusual though and i know I'm not the only one having this problem. I guess i just have to accept that i can't upload like i used to. I'm still not 100% sure this is the cause. It might also be that i expect way to much of myself and make drawing things way more challenging and time consuming then it should. Whatever the reason may be, it's the cause for my low activity here. I know it's up to me when to upload or not and that i can take breaks if and whenever i want to, but i do want to make stuff for all of you who are watching. I always feel guilty when i don't upload anything for so long. I hope things will change for the better soon.